Maddie

People change. People's lives change. People come into our lives and people go. The ones we have loved will always stay in our heart, and blah-blah-blah. I know all that. Bu what happens all the times when we don't want the change? When the change makes us feel miserable and all we wish for is to turn back time and make it undone? I know that we never really know what we've got until it's gone, and I can agree with that to some extent. I believe that I'm grateful for what I have, the friends I have and all the other great things I have in my life, but that doesn't mean that I have not so many times wished that thigs were different. That things had not turned out the way they did, and that I could have frozen the picture and kept the moment forever.

I know that change is inevitable. Change is the only thing that's constant. And of course I, like any other sane being, welcomes change when it is for the better, because life really would have been so incredibly boring without it. And I probably would have gone insane without any bad things happening to me as well. It's just.., sometimes I wish that some situations, some people wouldn't change, just because I liked things the way they were. When they were stable in a way that I was comfortable with, and had gotten to love even. The situations I wouldn't have minded keeping just the way they were.

Now it's all different. We're different and I've realised that it's pointless wishing or trying to get it back to the way it was. It cannot be done since it's not just up to me to decide how things are supposed to be. And that's just something I gotta learn to live with. Learn from, and who knows, in the future I might actually figure out how to be smarter and have the luck to keep things the way I want them, for a longer period of time. And learn to let go when I need to let go, without letting it hurt me as much as the letting go-part has done in the past. Believe in the future and live in the moment without being afraid that it'll all change too soon.

/Madeleine 

I love the spring. This season is like giving food to the starving. Times like these, when the sun for the first time in ages decides to appear again, people get so happy. Everything just seems a bit easier and more meaningful according to me. Spring is here, and it won't be too long till the spring's replaced by summer, which is an even better season. Plus, I have so much to look forward to. Turning 18 and then making a trip to London with Jenny so we can go to a concert with Taking Back Sunday and some other great bands. Then enjoy the many random breaks and finally there's the summer holiday filled with festivals and stuff, which is now less than three months away. It's going to be sooo amazing.

It's such a shame that I just happened to catch another bad throat infection at the same time as the sun is reappearing for the first time in 6 months... But as written above, I have a lot to look forward to, so I shall not complain. I'm happy. I'm grateful that the sun's finally come back.

/Madeleine 

I know that I have a tendency to write sort of depressing stuff here. I do know that. But this is my outlet where I discuss things that concern me. Stuff that I think about and things that I consider important to sort out, at least to the extent that I am able to. If my chain of thoughts can bring some sort of understanding to the many confused thoughts one can have, it's worth it. At least, since it helps my brain to sort some stuff that I feel the need to sort out. So that's that. Even if things on this page are personal, I still write because I feel like it, and because I like expressing myself with words just to try and understand everything a little bit better.

/Madeleine