Maddie

Every single minute is just a minute away, and that minute can be the one that changes everyhting. It's scary in a way how fast an altering event can affect the rest of your life. It scares me, just the thought that snap decisions can change everything, just like that. And sure, we can try and adjust and try and fix our mistakes. If we feel like we want to turn back time and act differently, we try and find another way. however though, that second that changed everyhitng still happened.

There are things I wish I'd never done, things I wish I'd never said, and all of those things were events that I didn't think through quite enough. All of that just for the one reason that I don't think things through. I act on what I feel, I act on my emotions. I act without thinking because of that reason, and weather that is a bad or a good thing is merely a judgement call. I still want to believe though that what you want fixed can be fixed, at least in most cases. I want to believe that all rash decisions I make won't make a great difference in the end, even though I know a lot of them do. That what I happen to feel, just that second, will in that case change my world for the better. And I also hope that all aspects that have made me into who I am will affect me in a good way when I'm making my next rash decision. So that my life and surroundings will turn out for the better which will therefore help me in my logical/emotional thinking in the future. So the vicious circle continues, and it's one vicious circle we cannot break free from, since we can't run away from who we are. We can't change the past that have made us. All we can really do is to hope that our next decision will be one for the better and that we have enough strenghth to learn from them.

/Madeleine 

I know that a lot of people question religion, fate and other believes that give people the explanation that everything happens for a reason. I'm one of them. I don't really think that every single event of our lives or the people we meet come into our lives because they were destined to. I believe that life is just a chain of random events, and it's up to people to decide what to do with all of the things that come our way. Life is about taking chances, I believe in that. I know that I rather take a chance than having to wonder what could have happened. I'd rather discover that I did something wrong than to have to live with the "what if?".

Wishing something would have been different is something that I'm very familiar with, I'd lie if I said that I wasn't. I know though, and try to work into my brain that I can't control anything, or anyone, but myself. So that's the one part of this life that I have the most control over and therefore what I have to focus on and try and make as good I possibly can.

Of course, that doesn't mean that I do things I don't want to do just for the hell of it, since another thing I believe in and try to follow is to always do what I feel is the right thing to do. If I always do that, then I can't look back at what I did and consider it being wrong. Of course I know that I make mistakes, but instead of wishing I could turn back time and change everything I try to see it as the right decision at the time, since I acted the way I thought was the best back then. Therefore, I'll try and continue to do what I think is right, try and learn from the mistakes I make and just hope that it will all lead me close to where I wanna be.

/Madeleine